


ghost in the world, ghost with no home

by Anonymous



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: A'TIN - Freeform, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pinunso, Setin, pushed by a dare don't @me, yanonymous ksksksk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: And oh gods, please no. To Justin's greatest disbelief and mortification, he actually stops. His feet just hits the break on themselves when all he wants to do is run, run, run.Someone's getting bullied...
Relationships: John Paulo Nase/Justin De Dios
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12
Collections: Anonymous Fics





	ghost in the world, ghost with no home

**Author's Note:**

> Grammatical corrections are highly appreciated! But please bear in mind the author's literary style :)

"Justin!"

And oh gods, please no. To Justin's greatest disbelief and mortification, he actually stops. His feet just hit the breaks on themselves when all he wants to do is run, run, run.

He hangs his head low as his ears pick up the loud squeaking sounds of sneakers against the floors of the empty hallway behind him. The school's supposed to have been closed by now, but he'd only been... free until now. To go, he means. 

Justin tightens his grip on his bag, praying to whatever God there might be out there to let him go without a fuss. He keeps his back facing his friend, even as the other finally stop a few feet behind him. The hall echoes and is followed by blessed silence after a final scritch.

"Justin, where'd you go? The others have been waiting and looking for you? Akala ko three labas mo? It's five and aren't we still-"

Oh, God, help him. 

A high-pitched, awkward laugh emanates from his slightly hanging form. Nervous. Cornered. "H-huh? ehh... Maybe next time, 'Jun. I -um. I have to do things right now."

"Really?" Disbelief in the highest degree. Justin almost winces from it. "But you were looking forward to hanging out for a while now, and Ken said you bolted once you saw them in the parking lot a while ago." Oh my God, shoot. He forgot about that.

"W-what?" Justin clears his throat, and this time, he injects a more happy-go-lucky tone back in his voice. "That must have been a different Justin!" Wait no, that's dumb! "I mean, I didn't see them or anything. I-"

"Justin, look at me." He hears his friend state, in a matter-of-fact tone, like he'd reached the conclusion already without even trying.

And that's just it. Justin really was that transparent, wasn't he? Desperately, he looks around for a clue as to what can help him. The barrenness of the walls around them. The exit to which is definitely too far away for him to consider breaking into a sprint. The few feet away that separates the whole truth. All useless. 

Reaching that conclusion, he can discern how his breathing picks up, all due to the knowledge that they would find out, that Sejun will be finding out. That he'll know what's been happening. Like a final click of the puzzle.

And... he wants Sejun to find out. Because he knows he's his friend, someone who can especially make it right again, who can fix him. Make the hurt stop but, Justin's just so scared-

There's so much he wants. He wants for a hole in the ground to eat him up. He wants to disappear into thin air and restart the day. He wants to face his perpetrators - his bullies - and maybe hit them back because he's being put in this situation, nervous and tense, at the edge of being caught, and it's filling him with a frustrated rage. He doesn't want this. But he does want to cry, right now-

"Justin De Dios, turn around or I swear I will chain you to the walls and drag the others over here so they can see for themselves as well." And Oh, hell no.

"Wait, no!" he shrieks and turns around. Quick and smooth like a dance, but his head is still lowered, body crouched, and his hands stay up and pleading. Like he's protecting himself from another blow. Another bruise.

This sickly dread is nothing like the freedom of a performance in front of an audience.

But with luck, he can still possibly get away from this, though. Justin considers, that the worse of the damage - his damage - is being hidden by longer clothes and can never be seen, so he counts this as a small relief. As long a he keeps his face away, it might even be fine. There's swell on his cheek that seems to sting a lot more prominently right now. He think it's because it's the mental check-up he's conducting. Is there even a science to that..?

"Umm, umikot na ang Camp ni Jah. Parang 'The Voice', lang, noh, Sejun?" He jokes shakily, words pityingly small, and looking at the floor as if it's the most interesting thing in the world.

There's a beat of silence, and he feels the weight of Sejun's stare as the day seems to get hotter. He panics as time moves by longer without the other reacting. Coming from such a lively guy like Sejun, this... this doesn't really inspire confidence.

Justin's tearing up. These kinds of fights were exactly the same kind he didn't want to be in. The stillness is scary. He doesn't even know what compelled him to stop running in the first place! When he apparently had no problem hiding his problems from the others...

He takes a risk though, when he decides the quiet gets too much for his fragile sanity, to look up from between his bangs and fingers. Hoping to hide the way he wants to look for a reaction. Just wishing for the stalemate to end.

What greets him is full frozen anger on the other's face.

A glare that could melt steel and a snarl that threatens to pull a whimper from Justin himself. He wholly regrets this now. He starts wobbling, knees turning into jelly and palms sweating, though he keeps them open as a sign of surrender. Unwelcomed thoughts bombard his mind, making him think that-

They were right. People - his.. his friends - would just get upset at him for being so weak, unable to defend himself. For being a burden.

And when the mental barrage gets too much, he shakes his head clear and chances a step back, which, to his great horror, snaps Sejun out from his infuriated trance. Eyes that settle with laser-focus clarity meet his, and harden a million times more. Oh no. W-what now!?, Justin thinks with shortened breath and extreme fear. What did Justin do, this time?

"Nothing, Jah!" A shout reverbrates through the air. Did- did he just say that aloud?

"E-eh?"

"I said," Sejun says, and this time, he stalks closer, appearing bigger in his rage, more terrifying with the pure fire in his eyes. But his feet won't listen. Even with every flight, go now! instinct being fired from his brain, Justin can't pull himself away.

Sejun reaches for his chin, pulling it up to inspect the lesions on his face, the cut on his lip. The fact that there's blood on his sweatshirt. And Justin gives up. His body responding with total submission, dropping his arms and his walls and his strength towards everything, right now. Because this is Sejun. Someone he can trust, can maybe even save him.

There's a wetness in his eyes he hasn't realized he had shed, Justin's chin trembling as he feels the other's hands cup both his cheeks. It reminds him of the stinging pain he's currently sporting there. Probably yellow and ugly already.

Sejun's eyes are on it, scanning the expanse with a clenched jaw, the picture of cooled displeasure. "This," he hisses, gaze shifting to convey an angry meaning into Justin's eyes.

"This isn't your fault... And I'm sure you did nothing wrong, Jah."

Sejun's voice is pleading and controlled, like an earthquake and thunder meeting in the middle to spear through the cloud of his doubt. His perceived worthlessness. And Justin shudders a sigh, long and breathy, hypnotized by the other's words and comfort. Because, apparently it's...

It's not his fault? But...

Justin sobs. It's not? But no- it is! He shakes rapidly when the thought reaches him. He means, just look at this! Sejun found out because he wasn't smart- hadn't been fast enough to hide it! His friend is probably betrayed because of his idiocy of not even telling them in the first place, because why would he?!?? Justin is selfish for even considering believing him. Selfish for letting Sejun catch up!

"It is, though!" He blubbers miserably, wailing as his hands fly up to clutch at the Sejun's at the side of his face. Body trembling with distress, Justin starts to sink onto the hallway floor, his leader supporting his descent and following him down in one whole move.

The light from the windows have begun fading. Outside, the day sets and Justin is falling apart. He sobs.

"It's m-my fault! I let you and dr-drag you guys down! Stell and... Stell and K-ken and Josh, and y-you- I'm bad and drag you down-n!"

"Shh-"

"It's true! Th-they all s-say it! They s-say I'm a weakli-ling and p-pa-cool, pacute! I-I'm no man!-" Justin shrieks in hysterics with words breaking like glass. Speech hitching and so sad. So insecure.

What was happening? Everything feels so wrong.

When he feels Sejun's hands migrate to his back to hold him and Justin takes the opportunity to hug him full force, hiding his messy face into the other's shoulder. He wails as Sejun calms him down. Keeps wailing as he thinks, You're going to leave me! I shouldn't have let you know! I'm just so sorry!

While in the background of his turmoil, Sejun croons with pain in his voice, "It's okay, Jah-"

"That's not true. They're lying, it's not true-"

"We're never going to leave you!"

"Shh, it's going to be okay, you hear me?"

"When I find out who'd done this to you, I swear to God I will rip them apart-"

"Calm down, Justin, we love you."

The cycle repeats for a while. What a catastrophe, Justin thinks as his breath hiccups here and there, still lying on the school hallway.

Dark now, he notices dully, with only the streetlights; the moon; and Sejun to keep him company. He'd cried for what feels like hours, shaking his head no to every sweet word coming out from his leader's mouth. Like he physically can't bear to hear it.

There'd been a moment when he'd especially thrown a violent fit, when Sejun had whipped his phone out to call the rest of the guys, but one look at Justin's - irrational - reaction and he'd just sent a text instead.

"I'm just sending them home," Sejun says, hugging him harder as Justin punches at his chest like a trapped animal, scared of more people seeing him like this. "I just want them to stop worrying for now," he says, when he puts away the phone immediately after, and returns his attention to back to Justin.

He didn't even notice time flying pass, too busy bawling his eyes out and spilling his troubles onto his friend. But he'd just been so tired. The bullying has been relentless in his class and he doesn't even know why they're being like that. Doesn't know if he can do anything.

Just starts to accept their reality to protect himself as things start to get more violent.

He'd been convinced that he was useless, a little too much of an airhead, pretty boy. Nagpapaganda, Jah? High tops and Makeup, medyo mahina sa ulo?

Justin shudders against the memory, sleepy and burrowing deeper into the embrace as he feels Sejun tighten it. When he opens his blurry eyes again, he sees the neon hoodie the other wears overlayed by the deep purple of the night. It's dizzying to look at, but Justin cannot deny that he likes where he is right now.

He feels hands run up the back of his hair, and he shivers for another reason. With great shame, he moves his heated face to hide in the green cloth, but doesn't make any different move as to stop Sejun.

They stay like this for a few minutes more, The late air cooling them, with nighttime traffic flowing in the background. Sejun even ocassionally hums a tune, with his lullabies following the rhythm of the hands in his hair as they twist and curl up from the base of his scalp, making him want to sleep.

And here, Justin feels safe. Allows his thoughts to empty into the atmosphere of peace he lives in.

When Justin starts dozing though, sooner rather than later, Sejun takes it upon himself to wake the other.

"Jah?" Sejun asks, shaking the younger boy gently and twisting to see how lucid he currently is.

"Nase?" Justin replies with a sigh, he reluctantly pulls away with drowsy movements, limbs heavy and ringing for staying in the same spot for too long, but with fingers still clinging tightly.

The other must feel the same strains and sores, but his face betrays nothing but concern as he looks Justin over.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Mmh-hmm," he agrees, slightly dreamy and giving off a yawn.

Sejun straightens from his seat and stretches his hands up, back arching to chase away the lingering stiffness. Justin watches with lethargic yet interested eyes.

When Sejun looks back at him, he sighs fondly. Which, Justin thinks, is a weird reaction.

The older boy reaches out to straighten Justin's clothes. Smoothing out the creases from his sweater, fixing the collar on his neck. Justin just reaches his hands to lay it in the other's as he works, enjoying getting groomed until all the chillingly, Sejun stops, his eyes narrowing and glinting even in the darkened hallway.

Justin feels his anxiety spike belatedly at this, sweat dripping a little on his back when he asks, "What's wrong?"

In response, he feels Sejun rub a thumb on his clavicle instead. The fury in his tone evident when he says, "I'm going to ruin them."

Ah. Another injury?

"Sejun."

"I really am, Justin," Sejun says, grabbing his hands and looking into his bloodshot, tired eyes. "You know I can."

Justin sighs, detaching and standing up, helping Sejun as he does so as well. He brushes off the dust on his pants and clothes, grumbling, "Of course, you could."

"I will."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't, though!" Justin actually whines. What the heck? "I don't need you to fight my battles for me."

"I'm not," Sejun says, placating him with a small laugh. Justin actually gets really glad at this, perking up as Sejun comes closer to fix him up some more. Preening when the other fiddles with his hair. But he misses how Sejun's eyes are on his inflamed cheek so he's totally unprepared when he says, "We all will. Me, Stell, Josh, and Ken."

And in an act of great strategy, Sejun quickly reaches the top of his head to pull him down for a peck on the cheek, right on top of his most prominent bruise, rendering him speechless.

He watches, feeling flushed with his hand up and floating near his face, as Sejun proceeds to coolly pick up his own bag. With a smile more genuine and playful than what's he's seen all day, Sejun goes back to being his friendly self again, the pinch in his expression gone for now. The change gives Justin even more of a whiplash with how quick it had gone, and his mouth hangs open a little. Sejun raises an eyebrow at Justin's shocked demeanor, shaking his head with mirth and sympathy.

"Hay nako, Justin."

Sejun looks back at him with humour in his eyes. there's a point that he's hiding about the story that seems way over his own mental capacity at the moment. Awed and blushing. He snickers at Justin's clear confusion, choosing instead to go walk forward.

"You coming, Jah? It's getting late!"

Clearing his thoughts, Justin jolts from his mind, resolving to just revisit the moment over for another day.

"Yeah, I'm right with you, Sejun."

**Author's Note:**

> i have four other drafts for this fandom  
> Joshtell (Jostell? Stelljosh? Twitter make up ur mind!)  
> Kentell  
> Joshtin  
> Stelljun
> 
> drop ko na ba? hahahahahhh which one?  
> charr! Leave a kudos or a comment ;w;  
> I'm shy and need the encouragement, sadly :<<
> 
> Pleeease? =) Stay safe, guys!  
> Sino bias niyo??? hahaha Si Stell akin skl


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